peapod — Recovery Stories

‘The Astonishing Power of Example’ by Peapod

November 2, 2021 by David Clark

Here is a post from one of my favourite bloggers on our online recovery community Wired In To Recovery, which dates back to April 2009.

‘Astonishment. That’s what I felt the first time I was taken to a mutual aid group meeting.

I was in treatment at the time in a residential centre. I was also neck deep in trouble. I had lost my job through my using. As part of the fallout from my own million megaton addiction detonation, I’d caused someone else to lose their job. The police were on my tail and I was massively in debt.

I didn’t particularly want to be in treatment, but I’d run out of alternatives. As the detox began to bite (and my god, the teeth were sharp), the permanent fog in my head began to clear. This was not a good thing.

‘Coaching, cajoling, caring: All good for recovery’ by Peapod

November 27, 2013 by David Clark

Peapod was the top blogger on Wired In To Recovery before retiring. Here is a snappy piece on peer-based support, originally published in March 2011.

‘What do people in recovery remember as the key things that helped us initiate and then maintain the recovery journey? Do we remember the doctor getting our medication dose just right? Do we remember a brilliant care plan? Do we remember diaries and charts and exercises? Probably not.

What I remember are the people on my path. The person who answered the phone in my hour of need and who listened; the kindness and wisdom of the staff in the treatment centre; the warmth and practical help shown me when I had very little to draw on and didn’t know where to turn. Sometimes people supporting me cared enough to be honest and told me things I didn’t particularly want to hear.

‘Opiate detox: methadone or suboxone’ by Peapod

July 8, 2013 by David Clark

This is the third part of Peapod’s Guide to Recovery, a series of articles written by Wired In To Recovery’s most visited blogger.

‘I don’t like stand alone detoxes, mostly because they almost always fail to deliver. Relapse is the norm if all you are offered is detoxification. I’ve written about this before in Detoxification: the nuts and the bolts so won’t go over old ground, but I will say again that success depends on the stuff that goes on around the detox and in the days, weeks and months afterwards.

This rough guide is written for those of you (or your clients) who might be thinking about detoxification.

‘Five things to make you happier in recovery’ by Peapod

June 17, 2013 by David Clark

“Helping others is not only good for them and a good thing to do, it also makes us happier and healthier too. Giving also connects us to others, creating stronger communities and helping to build a happier society for everyone.”

Happiness has become a science. You can study happiness and researchers have taken a look at the things that make us happy; they have surprisingly little to do with money.

So much so that some governments are looking at moving away from measuring success by focusing so much on gross domestic product (GDP).

A new initiative called Action for Happiness has suggested ten keys for happier living. There’s not much to argue about there.

I thought, how could you distil, blend and adapt these for recovery? Here’s my attempt:

1. We are happier when we relate to other people So get connected to recovery communities. Find the local mutual aid groups in your town or city – groups like AA, NA, CA and SMART and get involved. The research says that the more involved you get the better the quality of your recovery and the less likely you are to relapse.

Spend quality time with family and friends too.

2. We are happier when we help other people Action for Happiness says this on their website:

‘Helping others is not only good for them and a good thing to do, it also makes us happier and healthier too. Giving also connects us to others, creating stronger communities and helping to build a happier society for everyone.

And it’s not all about money – we can also give our time, ideas and energy. So if you want to feel good, do good!’

My suggestion: help someone at the start of their recovery journey by supporting and encouraging them, or help out a recovering friend who is having a hard time.

3. We are happier when we connect to things greater than ourselves Finding purpose and meaning in life is important to us. I can’t put it better than Action for Happiness does:

‘People who have meaning and purpose in their lives are happier, feel more in control and get more out of what they do. They also experience less stress, anxiety and depression.

But where do we find ‘meaning and purpose’. It might be our religious faith, being a parent or doing a job that makes a difference. The answers vary for each of us but they all involve being connected to something bigger than ourselves.’

So the science backs up finding a power greater than ourselves, though of course this does not need to be a religious power, just something that is outside of us.

What gives you meaning in your recovery?

4. We are happier when we find self-acceptance We spend a lot of time comparing ourselves with others and worrying about how we appear, what we say and how others perceive us. Wasted energy. Being gentle and kind to ourselves leads to more happiness.

Many of us are tortured by shame and guilt and self-doubt in addiction. Recovery is about letting go of that, being our own best friend and being grateful for who we are and what we have.

Being more comfortable in our own skin also helps us to accept others, warts and all.

5. We are happier when we have a positive attitude

‘Keeping the monkey off your back: top five tools to sustain recovery’ by Peapod

June 17, 2013 by David Clark

“Just because you got the monkey off your back, doesn’t mean the circus has left town” George Carlin, comedian, author

“Giving something back and supporting other folk is good for us generally, though we need to keep ourselves safe too. A kind word of encouragement to a nervous newcomer goes a long way. Spreading the message of recovery and sharing what works for you is something we can all do. Recovery is infectious and we need to spread it around.”

Getting sober and drug-free is hard enough for most of us, but staying that way is a challenge. The evidence is that many people coming out of abstinence-oriented treatment will relapse in the first year and most of them in the first few weeks. Recovery initiation, the start of the journey, is just that: a beginning. In the past, we’ve treated it like the main event and had little thought for what happens next.

The circus may not have left town, but there are ways to avoid ending up in a ringside seat and having that pesky monkey trouble you again. These things are the tools of recovery. There are plenty of them and we need to find the ones that work for us. Some however are more reliable than others according to the evidence we have. Here are my own top five tools:

1. Ask for help 
This journey is so much easier if we do it in the company of others. Get help. Find peer based support, service user groups, a mentor, a recovery coach, a counselor, or a support worker. Use their support and keep using it.

  2. Aftercare
If just out of treatment, go to aftercare. If they don’t have aftercare see if you can find another service that does and ask them if they’ll let you come along. We do that in our service from time to time and other recovery-oriented services may well do it too.

3. Get connected 
Connect to mutual aid and recovery communities. Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous and SMART are examples of mutual aid groups. If you go to a 12-step fellowship, get a sponsor; research indicates you are much less likely to relapse if you do. Find recovery activities like Recovery Cafes or social groups. And stick with the winners.

4. Find something to do  
Meaningful activity is a predictor of sustained recovery. By that, I mean thing like volunteering; getting some qualifications or training or a job; getting to the gym or for a swim; join a leisure or social group. Meet regularly with recovery friends and supportive family members. Make plans and keep them.

5. Help others  
Giving something back and supporting other folk is good for us generally, though we need to keep ourselves safe too. A kind word of encouragement to a nervous newcomer goes a long way. Spreading the message of recovery and sharing what works for you is something we can all do. Recovery is infectious and we need to spread it around.

These power tools worked for me, but there are many more in the toolbox.

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Filed Under: Peapod's Guide to Recovery Tagged With: aftercare, connecting, guide, help others, meaningful activities, peapod, recovery, support

‘Opiate detox: methadone or suboxone’ by Peapod

June 17, 2013 by David Clark

“Preparation is key. Getting ready and knowing what it’s going to be like will make it easier. The goal of a good detox is to help reduce unpleasant withdrawal symptoms and to keep things safe. Make sure you understand from your prescriber what’s going to happen.”

I don’t like stand alone detoxes, mostly because they almost always fail to deliver. Relapse is the norm if all you are offered is detoxification. I’ve written about this before in Detoxification: the nuts and the bolts so won’t go over old ground, but I will say again that success depends on the stuff that goes on around the detox and in the days, weeks and months afterwards.

This rough guide is written for those of you (or your clients) who might be thinking about detoxification.

Getting ready 
Preparation is key. Getting ready and knowing what it’s going to be like will make it easier. The goal of a good detox is to help reduce unpleasant withdrawal symptoms and to keep things safe. Make sure you understand from your prescriber what’s going to happen.

Let’s assume you have a package of treatment and support set up and detoxification is an early part in your journey. If you are coming off opiates then you may be offered some choices around the nature of your detoxification plan. On the agenda may be discussions around whether you should use methadone, Suboxone (or subutex) or even lofexidine to help you withdraw.

What should you choose?
NICE is an organisation which makes recommendations to the NHS based on research findings. There are many recommendations and considerations in their guidance. This blog is not an in-depth guide. It’s important that things are kept safe so speak with your prescriber.

In the NICE Opiate Detoxification Guidelines, they suggest that if you are prescribed methadone or subutex/suboxone on a maintenance basis, then you normally ought to detox on the same drug. Research indicates that neither drug is better than the other though withdrawals are over faster with Suboxone than methadone.

In practice, you’ll almost certainly get some choice around what drug to use for detox, but there’s more to think about than the drug alone. Here’s what NICE say:

“In order to obtain informed consent, staff should give detailed information to service users about detoxification and the associated risks, including:

the physical and psychological aspects of opioid withdrawal, including the duration and intensity of symptoms, and how these may be managed
the use of non-pharmacological approaches to manage or cope with opioid withdrawal symptoms
the loss of opioid tolerance following detoxification, and the ensuing increased risk of overdose and death from illicit drug use that may be potentiated by the use of alcohol or benzodiazepines
the importance of continued support, as well as psychosocial and appropriate pharmacological interventions, to maintain abstinence, treat comorbid mental health problems and reduce the risk of adverse outcomes (including death).”

How long will it take? 
That depends on what sort of level of methadone or heroin or suboxone you are starting out from and also on the setting. In an in-patient unit, a detox will take less than a month generally (sometimes much faster).

In the community, it could be much longer though the guidance suggests that around three months would be reasonable. If you are doing it in the community you’ll probably have to pick your medication up daily from the pharmacy.

Methadone
Many folk have successfully completed detoxes on methadone. Withdrawals are generally not too uncomfortable with reductions at higher levels, but begin to bite a bit below thirty milligrammes. The NHS Orange Book Guidelines suggest reducing methadone at 5mg every one or two weeks. The last few mls can be problematic for many.

Methadone is generally more sedating than Suboxone but it has the advantage to many of familiarity and you don’t have to worry about moving onto a drug you’ve not tried before.

Suboxone/subutex (buprenorphine)
The main player here is buprenorphine. When naloxone, an opiate blocker is added in to reduce abuse, the combination is called Suboxone. Buprenorphine is a newer drug than methadone and it has some advantages and one or two tricky points.

The most important thing to remember is that you can’t start Suboxone when you still have significant amounts of methadone or heroin (or any other opiate) in your system because it can cause withdrawal to suddenly occur and when that happens it’s horrible. This is because opiate receptors in the body love buprenorphine and give up their methadone and heroin molecules at the drop of a hat to accommodate the buprenorphine. The sudden loss of the other opiates causes this withdrawal and there’s not much you can do about it, so it’s best to avoid the situation where it might occur.

The bottom line is that you need to have allowed at least 24 hours (often more) after the last methadone dose or eight hours after the last heroin dose before you can start subutex and the prescriber will want to see some evidence of early withdrawal just to make sure.

It’s also difficult to convert to Suboxone when you are on higher amounts of methadone. Generally prescribers like you to be under 30mls, so you will have to detox on methadone down to that kind of amount.

In some people, Suboxone causes a headache and for everyone it tastes a bit bitter (it’s absorbed from under the tongue). People commonly report a “clear head” on Suboxone compared to methadone.

The Orange Book Guidelines suggest reducing by 2mg every two weeks to start with and slowing down to reductions of 400 microgrammes towards the end. Withdrawals from Suboxone peak a few days after the last dose and get better rapidly afterwards.

Lofexidine (Britlofex) 
Not an opiate, but works on a body system that turns the dial down on some opiate withdrawal symptoms. In some centres, you may be offered this alone to help with withdrawals, though it is most often added in to a methadone or Suboxone detox, usually towards the end.

It can drop your blood pressure, give you a dry mouth and make you feel a bit drowsy, but it’s quite good at taking the edge off withdrawals. Lofexidine is usually only prescribed for about a week, starting at a low dose, building up rapidly and then tailing off again. Not a good idea to stop it suddenly as your blood pressure can jump. Ask your prescriber about whether it might be helpful at some point. I don’t think it’s available in the USA.

Complicated detoxes 
Where there are a few drugs in the mix, e.g. benzodiazepines and opiates or alcohol and opiates, then it’s often wise to be attending a specialist service and there’s more likely to be an in-patient admission involved.

The same might be true if you’ve had complications on detoxing before (e.g. seizures or mental health problems). If you have other medical problems or complex social issues, then a residential detox may well be best.

Down to you 
Ultimately, the choice is yours. I would suggest when speaking with the prescriber or clinical staff that you ask them what they would choose in your position.

If you are asking me, it would generally be Suboxone though there would be some exceptions to this; I think people are more comfortable on it and the discomfort is over faster.

If you don’t fancy the (usually minor) discomfort of converting to Suboxone from methadone, that might be a reason to go down the methadone route.

I can’t stress enough that what goes with the detox will determine how successful you are at achieving your goals of a drug-free recovery. So many people think of the detox as being the important part. If recovery is the train journey from London to Aberdeen, then detox is the time taken to call the taxi. You need to think about the rest of the journey.

Being in an intensive treatment setting, attending mutual aid and being engaged with peer support services will increase the odds of success. The more support you have the better.

Don’t forget those harm reduction messages of loss of tolerance and risk of overdose on relapse. If you do go back to using: use less; don’t inject; don’t use alone and don’t mix drugs.

Being informed will empower you. Don’t be afraid to ask questions – remember it’s your detox. The prescriber is there to be your guide and supporter, not to dictate. Good luck!

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Filed Under: Peapod's Guide to Recovery Tagged With: detox, guide, methadone, NICE, peapod, recovery, suboxone, withdrawal

‘Five patterns of negative thinking to escape from in recovery’ by Peapod

June 17, 2013 by David Clark

“Your radar is tuned to the negative. It’s a sophisticated old radar because it also has a magnifying glass. And that magnifying glass is peculiar in that it has a blind spot. A blind spot for the positive. The negative is magnified, the positive overlooked and the focus on the negatives out of the context of all the rich, nurturing and lovely things makes life seem a very bleak place.”

As recovering people, we need all the help we can get to grow emotionally and to build our resources and resilience. Sometimes, we can get tripped up by returning to deeply embedded patterns of thinking that are no longer serving us well. We’re not always aware of them and sometimes when aware not sure what we can do.

Here are a few examples of typical potentially harmful styles of thinking that are worth identifying and avoiding:

1. Negatively selective radar
Your radar is tuned to the negative. It’s a sophisticated old radar because it also has a magnifying glass. And that magnifying glass is peculiar in that it has a blind spot. A blind spot for the positive. The negative is magnified, the positive overlooked and the focus on the negatives out of the context of all the rich, nurturing and lovely things makes life seem a very bleak place.

Solution: First awareness, then retune the radar.

Leif Garrett said: “I’ve come to believe that there is always something positive, even in a negative situation.”

2. Blaming
Classic disempowering thinking and widespread in those suffering from addiction. Someone else is responsible for the way you feel. Or sometimes, you blame your own ‘deficiencies’ for every single problem there is.

This is a clever little distortion of thinking that is guaranteed to keep us from emotional freedom. If someone else is to blame for your pain then you can’t do anything about it.

Solution: Take responsibility for your own feelings (even if what happened was not your responsibility). It’s up to you to change the way you feel.

Eric Allenbaugh said: “Yes, there are times when something is legitimately not our fault. Blaming others, however, keeps us in a stuck state and is ultimately rough on our own self-esteem.”

 3. Catastrophising
A variation on selective radar, only here negative anticipation of the future is what’s going on. Disaster is just around the corner. You play out ‘what ifs’ in your mind.

If you are imaginative enough, you can have conjure up a scenario where you, your loved ones and the cat are all dead by tea-time due to an asteroid strike that only you had a premonition of. Underlying this is lack of faith in your self and your resilience.

Solution: get some support from positive thinkers and build self-worth.

4. Fallacy of fairness
You have a strong sense of fairness and feel it’s reasonable to expect that life should be fair. What’s frustrating is that while you know what is fair, others don’t necessarily agree with you.

Resentment develops.

Frances Childress describes it like this: “Fallacy of Fairness is a cognitive distortion compelling people to obsessively walk around with a measuring ruler assuring everything ‘is fair and even.’ It is the belief they are the best ones who can measure what is fair and what is not fair, taken to the extent the inequalities consume their thoughts with agitation until fairness is achieved.”

Because fairness is relative and essentially self-defined, conflict arises and you feel emotional pain. Essentially you feel that it’s ‘not fair’.

Solution: Work on humility, plurality and open-mindedness. The fallacy of fairness is grandiosity disguised as saint-like righteousness.

 5. Black and white thinking
Everything is ‘great’ or it’s ‘terrible’. You think in extremes. The Lift Depression Website describes the issue like this:

[It]“occurs when the emotional limbic system inhibits access to the rational neocortex. To put it simply, the brain gets too ‘emotionally aroused’ to think rationally.

Black and white thinking is a feature of all highly emotional states, including depression and anxiety.”

I liked George Carlin’s light-hearted take: “Have you ever noticed? Everyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone going faster is a maniac.”

This polarisation is dangerous because you tend to end up judging yourself on the same terms and if you are not ‘perfect’ then you are failing. Growing up in recovery means accepting shades of grey and a more nuanced view of the world.

Solution: Be prepared to not judge, to learn and to see the world in glorious Technicolor.

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Filed Under: Peapod's Guide to Recovery Tagged With: blaming, catastrophising, fairness, guide, peapod, radar, recovery, thinking

‘Five things NOT to do in early recovery’ by Peapod

June 17, 2013 by David Clark

“Ah, the curse of the addict: isolation. So easy to do, yet so destructive. It’s connectivity to others that help many of us to move forward in recovery. Connecting to others allows us to deal with stress better, we lead happier lives and we both help and are helped.”

Some choices and behaviours are more likely than others to trip us up. I’ve gathered five red recovery flags together to highlight potential pitfalls for the unwary. But who am I to be prescriptive? Everyone needs to make up his or her own mind about what to do or what not to do.

I’ve known people who’ve avoided most of the things on my list and still come a cropper and I’ve known folk break all the “rules” and not wobble too much. So take what you like and leave the rest…

1) Avoid romantic relationships early on. The ‘love’ can act like a drug in itself and the relationship can become the focus of life meaning that healthy activities, and in particular recovery-oriented activities, may suffer. The rock that wrecks the ship tends to be when the relationship goes wrong. Develop a relationship with yourself first and avoid choppy waters.

2) Don’t hang out with old friends. Using or drinking buddies not in recovery tend to continue to use or drink. That’s kind of self-evident, really. In addition, there’s often something very uncomfortable for them in having a friend in recovery. There’s a tendency not to like that.

I’ve lost count of the number of times folk I’ve known have relapsed due to a visit to a friend or allowing a friend to drop by with a small gift. Give yourself a break and stay clear of folk who are still dealing with the problem.

3) Don’t hang out in old haunts or at events that you associate with drinking or using. There’s an old recovery saying: “If you sit in the barber’s chair long enough, you’ll get a haircut”. Pubs, clubs, concerts, weddings, funerals, stag nights and parties can be runaway relapse trains for those reaching for recovery.

Find new places to go to. In several large cities and towns there are recovery-oriented activities and events to enjoy and there are more on the way as the recovery movement gains steam.

4) Avoid the ‘first’ drink or drug. An old AA favourite pearl of wisdom, this was based solely on experience in the early days, but it’s backed up by the neuroscience and by other evidence.

The quiet whisper that says: “It’s okay now, my system is cleared out, I’ll be okay with a glass of wine or a line of coke or heroin” is compelling, but we’re back in treacherous waters if we listen. For those of us who had serious dependence issues, going back to ‘safe’ use is not normally an option.

5) Don’t isolate. Ah, the curse of the addict: isolation. So easy to do, yet so destructive. It’s connectivity to others that help many of us to move forward in recovery. I was talking with a lovely friend in recovery earlier this evening and we laughed at how I use that word to death, but I make no apologies.

Connecting to others allows us to deal with stress better, we lead happier lives and we both help and are helped. In one study, just adding one sober person to your social network reduced relapse rates by 27%.

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Filed Under: Peapod's Guide to Recovery Tagged With: connecting, cues, guide, isolation, old friends, peapod, recovery, romance

‘Detoxification: the ‘nuts and the bolts’ by Peapod

June 17, 2013 by David Clark

“Expect the first few weeks to be rocky emotionally. Life can feel a bit ‘greyed out’ for a while and youʼll need to adopt a longer-term view. Getting to as many recovery meetings as you can manage during this period will help.”

Okay, youʼve got to the point where you are looking to detox but youʼre not sure what the nuts and bolts of it are. How do you go about it and how do you know you are ready? What can you do to boost success?

Here are my suggestions, which are based on guidance and my own experience of working with hundreds of people going through detox.

First things first: “detox plus”
The first thing to say is that any detox which is not connected to other things will almost certainly fail. You might get through the detox (or “stopped”) but remaining drug free (“staying stopped”) is very, very unlikely without other things added in. Not to mention that itʼs potentially dangerous too. Donʼt set yourself up to fail.

Itʼs best to see detox as a tiny part of the recovery process. Important, no doubt about it, but in the grand scheme of things not a giant cog in the machinery. Recovery is a longer-term process.

What is the “plus” part of “detox plus”: what needs to be added in?
1. Ask: am I ready? You will probably have a feel for this because youʼve been working towards this goal for a while and others have been supporting you. If youʼre using regularly on top of your script or have major stressful life events going on, you may want to wait a bit, or get referred for consideration of residential options where the support is highest.

2. Weigh up the pros and the cons. Everything involves some sort of risk. Talk to others whoʼve done it successfully. Make an informed choice.

3. My next suggestion is to get referred to an intensive community or residential rehabilitation programme. Some will offer detox as part of treatment. Your prescriber or support worker will be able to advise. Try to get onto a programme that is at least three months long and that prioritises connecting up their clients to peer-led recovery communities.

4. Get involved with local recovery community activities in any case. The most important of these is mutual aid. Groups like Narcotics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous (you donʼt need to have a problem with coke) and SMART recovery offer peer-based support.

The evidence suggests that engaging with these groups reduces relapse rates and adds much to quality of life too. You donʼt need to be drug-free to attend.

5. If youʼre not going to sign up to intensive treatment, then get started with meaningful activities daily. Find an educational course or volunteering opportunity and get stuck in. Structure your days and donʼt spend time in bed or stuck to the TV or computer screen.

6. Stay away from using friends and places you associate with scoring and using. These are powerful triggers to use when you are feeling vulnerable.

Detox basics 
1. Donʼt do your own detox. Shutting yourself in a room with DFs and Valium might seem like a sensible idea, but it is not known for its success rates. Achieving your goals is much more likely if you have an expert in detoxification supporting you as you do it. Cold turkey is being unkind to yourself and has low success rates.

At the same time, this is your detox, so youʼll want to know you have some say in how it looks. It shouldnʼt be something that is done to you, but something you do with the support of the prescriber. Alcohol, GHB/GBL and Benzodiazepine detoxes are particularly dangerous if not medically supervised.

2. If you are coming off opiates, discuss whether you want to use methadone or Suboxone to detox. In some areas you might also have the option of lofexidine (Britlofex) too. Occasionally some doctors offer a dihydrocodeine (DF118) detox. Iʼm going to write a separate article on choosing between a methadone detox and a Suboxone detox.

3. Get as much support around you as you can. If you are in a structured day programme, residential treatment or a therapeutic community, the support ought to be built in.

If youʼve chosen to try this without that sort of intensive input, then tell your mutual aid group members what youʼre planning, get your prescriberʼs support and that of family members (non-drug using). Do some relapse prevention work and donʼt rely only on yourself. I canʼt stress this enough; most of us need help to do this.

4. If you are struggling, admit it. There are various medications that can be added in to help with any unpleasant symptoms like pain, insomnia, nausea, diarrhoea, cramps etc. Emotional support from positive people will boost your chances of success. If you know people whoʼve been through detox successfully, find out how they did it and get their help.

5. Expect the first few weeks to be rocky emotionally. Life can feel a bit “greyed out” for a while and youʼll need to adopt a longer-term view. Getting to as many recovery meetings as you can manage during this period will help.

6. Guard against relapse and if you do go back to using, remember loss of tolerance and the increased risk of overdose. Donʼt use as much, donʼt use alone, donʼt inject and donʼt mix heroin with other drugs (particularly alcohol or valium).

7. Remember a lapse is not the end of recovery. Itʼs common and not a cause for shame or giving up. Most of us need more than one go. Going back onto maintenance for a while is a viable option, as is getting referred to a more intensive treatment setting.

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Filed Under: Peapod's Guide to Recovery Tagged With: detox, guide, meaningful role, mood, mutual aid, peapod, recovery, residential rehab

Detox and early abstinent recovery: make it easier

June 17, 2013 by David Clark

“If you are planning a detox, get ready for it. It’ll be much easier if you know what to expect. Don’t do your own detox, let someone else be in charge. Stand alone detoxes will almost all fail: you need detox plus. By that, I mean more has to be added in. Getting onto an intensive treatment programme (either residential or community) at least three months long is likely to help. Stay away from using or drinking friends and delete dealers’ numbers from your mobile. Always remember, you only need to do this once.”

Peapod was one of the most prolific and respected bloggers on Wired In To Recovery before going into ‘retirement’. (S)he wrote a series of must-read blogs containing important hints to facilitate recovery which were very popular. Peapod’s empathy and understanding, as well as experience in the field, shone through in these blogs. I’ve arranged these blogs into what I call ‘Peapod’s Guide to Recovery.’ This is the first of seven articles.

‘Detox and early recovery: what’s it feel like?
‘’Empty’; ‘cored out’; ‘flat as a pancake’; ‘anxious’; ‘aching’; ‘miserable’… all comments I’ve heard from clients after detox. It resonates with my own experience. I’ve been detoxed twice and I found it pretty hard going.

This week, I’ve spotted a few people on Wired In asking if it’s normal to feel so low after a detox. I’ve commented in each case I’ve spotted because I know what a vulnerable time it is. Have ever walked or driven across a salt pan? These are big flat expanses of endless monotony and sometimes used as a metaphor for the post-detox experience. So why is detox and the immediate time after so challenging?

A bit about the brain
Whether you sign up to the disease model of addiction or not, there’s overwhelming evidence to show that addiction causes changes in brain structure and function. As addiction takes hold, several things in the brain start to change.

Various drugs cause the pleasure chemical dopamine (a neurotransmitter or chemical messenger) to be released in large quantities. Cells near the ones that release dopamine pick it up on their surfaces through dopamine receptors stimulating the cell so we feel pleasure. Over time, the body thinks, ‘Wait a minute, with so much dopamine around, I’m feeling a bit over-stimulated; I don’t need all these receptors’ and shuts some of them down.

In addition, some drugs can suppress many of the brain’s activities. They turn the nervous system’s dial down a few notches, quietening nerves, worries and alertness. During detox, the dial gets turned back up suddenly. Lots of different neurotransmitters behave in odd ways. Pulse rises, blood pressure goes up, tremors, sweats and agitation are to the fore. It’s pretty unpleasant admittedly, but the good news is that all of this has a limited shelf life. It does get better.

Life is a bit greyed out
The first part of recovery is a bit of a pleasure desert. Scientists say that one effect of the limited number of pleasure receptors is that it is harder to feel pleasure from ordinary things early in recovery. Spending time with friends doesn’t do it. Having a meal out or going to the pictures hardly gets a blip on the pleasure radar. It’s no surprise that minds turn to the one thing that’s going to flood those limited receptors and create an oasis in the desert. Using or drinking again.

This does get better
As time goes by, the brain starts to readjust. Receptor production is switched on. The nervous system activity dial that’s been on max gradually gets turned back down again. We feel calmer, less empty and more hopeful, but only if we stick with it and get through the tough bit.

Clear and present dangers
There are three things to watch out for that might trip you up in those early weeks (or indeed at any time).

Stressful situations. Brain stress hormones can trigger the desire to use drugs or to drink. We need to find new ways of managing or avoiding stress. Sharing the journey with others is an effective way to deal with life’s stressful events.

Triggers and cues. Because drug memories and experiences end up engraved on the brain and because they encompass not just the pleasure, but the sensations, the context, where we were and who we were with, anything that reminds us of drinking and using can be a trigger to pick up again. Avoiding triggers and cues is a good idea.

The first drink or drug. It’s highly likely that this thought will pop into your mind at some point: “Maybe I’ll be all right now that my system has had a rest. Perhaps I’ll be able to drink and use normally.” Anything that floods those dopamine receptors can trigger off a powerful desire to have more. A glass of wine at the weekend, or a line of coke as a treat, are bad ideas for folk trying to recover. This kind of experiment easily leads to relapse.

What helps?
The brain’s function begins to recover in those early weeks and by two years is mostly back to normal. There are some things that you can do that are associated with making detox more comfortable, that make dealing with early recovery less grey and which reduce the risk of relapse.

In a nutshell it’s this: get connected! By that, I mean get connected to other recovering people. There’s research to show that increasing the number of sober people in your social network is associated with reduced relapse. Research from Connecticut has shown that simply by introducing one more sober person to your sober network you can reduce your risk of relapse by 27%. That sounds like a good deal to me.

If you are planning a detox, get ready for it. It’ll be much easier if you know what to expect. Don’t do your own detox, let someone else be in charge. Stand alone detoxes will almost all fail: you need detox plus. By that, I mean more has to be added in. Getting onto an intensive treatment programme (either residential or community) at least three months long is likely to help. Stay away from using or drinking friends and delete dealers’ numbers from your mobile. Always remember, you only need to do this once.

If you want success, then get involved with mutual aid groups. There are thousands of AA, NA, CA and SMART groups up and down the country. Almost everybody is nervous about going along, so phone the helpline first. If you know a member, ask them to take you along. Keep going back and check out lots of different meetings; don’t judge by your first meeting along. The more meetings you go to the better.

If relapse happens 
Many people in long-term recovery will have had experience of lapse or relapse at some point. While you don’t need to use again, some people will and this can be a danger, particularly if you have been addicted to opiates. Loss of tolerance begins very quickly on getting drug-free and your system becomes more sensitive. Hundreds of people die every year in the UK from unintentional overdose.

You can minimise the risk. Do this by:

Smoking, not injecting
Using much less than before (as if you were starting for the first time)
Not using alone, have someone around
Don’t mix downers, like heroin, valium and alcohol (very important).

And if you do lapse it needn’t be the end of the world. Get help quickly. Get honest about it with your support network and put twice as much work into your recovery.

Important to know
Detox and even treatment are only small parts of recovery: for many of us, recovery is a long-term process. Most of the recovery journey will take place out of treatment environments – in social settings with other recovering people. Recovery is not about the absence of alcohol or other drugs. It’s about all the positives that come in, but you have to work for them and most of that work will be done more easily if you are shoulder to shoulder with other recovering people.’

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Filed Under: Peapod's Guide to Recovery Tagged With: detox, guide, mood, mutual aid, peapod, recovery, relapse, stress

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