Expectations in Early Recovery

September 27, 2013 by

rsz_prop-img-full-f3y0fv91-1i4rrdkllxwjkOne of the problems in early recovery is the person not knowing what to expect. And then not being able to deal with the ‘unexpected’ when it happens. Here’s some reflections from Stephanie Brown in her book A Place Called Self: Women, Sobriety, and Radical Transformation.

‘Sharp feelings
New recovery is painful on several levels. Firstly, new recovering women must deal with the normal feelings that most women have but which they have buried under addiction.

Second, they have to face the ambivalence they feel as they bring their own recovery needs  into balance with meeting the needs of others.

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‘The Past, Present and Future’ by Maddy

September 22, 2013 by

Unknown-1Unexpected memories can throw me off track in a second! Like today, I’ve been wondering around the Westfield shopping centre killing time before an appointment. I walked into a store that I used to work in when using and the memories came rushing back, followed by a real dip in my mood.

Suddenly, I’m sad, scared about my future, worried I’ll never be ok. Missing the buzz I had when using. The freedom from feelings. The confidence.

It’s still so overwhelming that I’m in recovery. Sometimes, I feel so lost and empty, but other times full of hope and faith.

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‘Addiction: Problems behind the problem’ by Recovery Coach

July 16, 2013 by

P1010092I was pretending to be Superman when my mother’s frantic cries for help brought a sudden halt to my game. I ran towards the kitchen faster than a speeding bullet. But a Superman t-shirt with a bath towel tucked into the collar didn’t give me superhuman strength.

Peering just below the vinyl seat of our yellow kitchen chairs, my eyes widened as Dad pinned my mother to the cold linoleum floor. He was a large man, standing 6’1″, and Mum was 4’6″. The image seemed surreal, like a horror movie, and I stood frozen in fear.

There was an odor of carnage as Dad hovered over her. Maybe it was the mixture of sweat and testosterone rising from his green work shirt. Pure, unfiltered terror flooded my body and my heart beat so fast it seemed to smash against my ribs.

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