The Drug Experience: Heroin, Part 4

In their seminal book Beating the Dragon, Professors James McIntosh and Neil McKeganey describe heroin addiction as an extremely hard taskmaster. Clients from the Peterborough Nene Drug Interventions Programme who recounted their stories to us also repeatedly referred to the comprehensive way that their heroin addiction took over their lives.

‘My whole life, my whole being was centred on drugs and any means to get them you know. My whole life revolved around drugs, drugs, drugs.’ (Beating the Dragon)

At the peak of their addiction, users are often using large amounts of heroin. At this time, the process of funding, finding, and using the drug becomes a daily routine. Heroin becomes the most important thing to the user, and very little else matters to them at this time.

Heroin users progressively spend less time with their family and loved ones, and more time with other drug users. They became affiliated into drug-using networks although these new drug-using acquaintances are not generally considered to be friends. The nature of these relationships are not genuine or real, and tend to be very fickle.

As people become immersed in the drug-using lifestyle, their life before drugs gradually becomes a distant memory. They become stuck in a vicious circle, whereby the drug is affecting their lives yet they need it to function normally and even to ‘survive’. Some people use heroin to ‘numb’ their emotions and remove themselves from the reality of their situation, i.e. the problems the drug has caused.

The lives of heroin users often become characterised by secrets and lies. This is commonly due to shame and embarrassment, as they have become something that they had looked down on previously and were living a life of which other people disapproved.

For many heroin users, it becomes impossible to sustain their drug use legitimately. As tolerance levels rise, increasing amounts of drugs are required, and therefore more money is needed to fund the habit.

In many cases criminal activity becomes the most common way of funding heroin use. Shoplifting is especially popular, particularly amongst female users, whilst burglary, street theft (bag snatches) and car/bike crime are common sources of revenue for male users. Some people support their habit by dealing in drugs, whilst some may resort to prostitution.

Many report that they would steal anything from anyone in order to support their habit. Their own families are frequent and ready targets for theft.

Some heroin users report that crime simply becomes a routine part of their day. Involvement in criminal activity frequently leads to involvement with the criminal justice system, and sometimes imprisonment. Some addicts consider this philosophically as being an occupational hazard.

Some of the interviewees in our research became locked into a vicious cycle of crime to fund habit->prison sentence (and a period clean)->release from prison->re-introduction to drugs->return to crime->prison. They frequently felt stuck in this cycle and did not know how to get out of it.

Many users report how their behaviour and personality changed during their drug-using days. They often felt that they acted very out of character.

They describe how, in the world of drug-using, everyone thinks primarily about themselves, and more specifically, about feeding their addiction. Many are lacking in morals and conscience and have no consideration for anyone else. They live a life full of deceit and manipulation.

‘You’ve got no boundaries, which is wrong. And you lose all of your emotions, you know. You don’t feel guilty, it’s just, ‘Me, me, me, I want that, I need that’, and you don’t think of others, what it does to others.’ (Hopkins and Clark, 2005).

One major occupational hazard of regular heroin use is deteriorating health. For injecting drug users, serious vein damage is common and there is an ever-present risk of contracting blood-borne viruses such as hepatitis C and HIV. There is also a risk of overdosing.

Alongside physical health damage, many heroin users experience mood and mental health problems. Periods of low self-esteem, depression, anxiety and mood swings are frequently reported. Users will regularly have negative opinions of themselves and what they have become. This can sometimes lead to contemplating, or attempting, suicide.

Many heroin addicts also use other drugs, such as benzodiazepines and alcohol, and this can result in further complications (e.g. increased risk of overdose) and further contributes to deteriorations in health.

Users can neglect to pay attention to their appearance and personal hygiene. They lose respect for themselves and for their well-being.

It is common for users to experience a breakdown in their family relationships due to their drug use and the resultant changes in their behaviour. They may be kicked out of home, or their partner may leave them. Many users, in particular men, lose contact with their children.

In general, the lifestyles of heroin users are very unsettled. Many may experience homelessness through relationship breakdown or through losing their homes due to going to prison or inability to maintain rental payments.

Although heroin use can have devastating effects on both the user and those close to them, it is possible to overcome addiction and resume a healthy and positive lifestyle. In our next Briefing we will consider the process of recovery.

Recommended Reading:

Aimee Hopkins and David Clark (2005) Using Heroin, Trying to Stop and Accessing Treatment.

James McIntosh and Neil McKeganey (2002) Beating the Dragon: The Recovery from Dependent Drug Use. Prentice Hall.

Tam Stewart (1996) The Heroin Users. Rivers Oram Press.

> pdf document

> Part 5

Visiting UK Recovery Friends: Part 8 (Natalie)

It was wonderful for me to catch up with ‘Natalie’ whilst I was in Wales in September 2022. She was the first treatment service user I spent in-depth time with, and from whom I learnt a good deal about the nature of heroin addiction and recovery.  She told me that when she was using heroin, she did not know how to stop. She could find no information about how to stop using. She knew no one who had stopped using. The solution to these problems was to keep using, letting heroin kill her pain, shame and the hatred of herself for what she had become.

Through listening to Natalie, I first started to realise the importance of key factors facilitating recovery: gaining hope, understanding, and a sense of belonging. As Wired In, we emphasised the key importance of Empowerment and Connection for facilitating recovery. We pointed out that hope, understanding (of the nature of the problem and the solution), and belonging were key factors underlying Empowerment.

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‘I was a heroin addict and had given up on myself. Then suddenly, briefly, I felt a desire to live’ by John Crace

‘What I heard at Narcotics Anonymous changed my life’ … John Crace. Photograph: Pauline Keightley/Bridgeman Images

Yesterday, I posted a blog from one of my favourite journalists, John Crace, the Guardian’s parliamentary sketch writer, about his past heroin addiction. John had been in recovery for 32 years at the time of writing that article. Here is a second article by John about his addiction and recovery, which appeared on 27 December 2021.

At my lowest point, I sought self-annihilation. I was saved at the last moment by two of the few people I had not pushed away.

It was a Saturday night in early October 1986. My 30th birthday party, or what passed for it. Just a handful of junkies and my few remaining friends sitting on the floor of a grey, bare room in a flat in south London. I had thought it would be fun, as, for once, there was no shortage of heroin. Instead, I felt wretched.

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‘How I Overcame my Heroin Addiction – and Started to Live’ by John Crace

John Crace, who became addicted to heroin in his early 20s. Photograph: Theo Moye/apexnewspix.com

One of my favourite newspaper writers is John Crace, the Guardian’s parliamentary sketch writer. He writes really well, challenges the political system and politicians (hitting all the nails on the head), and possesses a wicked sense of humour. Imagine my surprise when I discovered by reading one of John’s articles that he is a recovering heroin addict. Here is that article, straight from the Guardian of 25 March 2019.

Deciding to give up the drugs was easy. But Narcotics Anonymous meetings got me through the really hard bit – staying off them for good

It was one of the easier decisions I have made. So easy that I must have made it hundreds of times over the best part of 10 years. The first time, I was in my early 20s and had woken to find I had cramps, sweats and felt wretchedly sick. That was when I knew what I had fondly imagined was recreational drug use had slipped into full-on heroin addiction. This has got to stop now, I told myself. A couple of days of cold turkey and then get back on with my life – a decision that lasted as long as it took to get up and go to score.

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‘A Personal Story’ by Wee Willie Winkie

Here’s a story we first ran on our online community Wired In To Recovery in September 2010. I then posted it on Recovery Stories in June 2013.

‘I’m 33 years old. I started taking drugs from ten years old and, apart from a three and a half year stint in the army, took them continuously right up to the age of 30. This included 11 years as a heroin addict.

During this time, I felt totally isolated and alone in the world, and completely worthless. After a few years I was desperate. I’d overdosed a couple of times and, at this point in my life, I’d have welcomed death with open arms. It never came, so I decided to help it along a bit.

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What Works in Treatment: Sapphire’s Story, Part 1

Sapphire’s Story shows the importance of person-centered treatment. Things went well when Sapphire was intimately involved in decisions about her treatment, but poorly when professionals took sole control. In this post, I start a short series focused on various stages of Sapphire’s treatment career.

Sapphire was being prescribed methadone for her heroin addiction, but as the dose was not high enough she was suffering withdrawal symptoms. To counter the discomfort of this withdrawal, she was purchasing methadone on the street and using benzodiazepines. Then a problem arose from her urine sample:

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The Drug Experience: Heroin, Part 3

In the last Briefing, we started to describe the experiences of people whose lives are seriously affected by heroin. The experiences are based on those described in the seminal book Beating the Dragon: The Recovery from Dependent Drug Use by James McIntosh and Neil McKeganey, and our own research with clients on the Peterborough Nene Drug Interventions Programme.

The recognition by individuals that they are addicted to, or dependent on, heroin can take anywhere from a few weeks to several months or even years, depending upon the amount of drug being used, the frequency with which it was being taken, and the person’s ability to fund their habit.

For the majority of individuals in each of the above research studies, the recognition that they were addicted usually came from the experience of withdrawal symptoms which arose when they purposefully attempted to stop using the drug, or through not having heroin available. The most common reason for being deprived of heroin is a lack of money to purchase the drug.

These withdrawal symptoms disappeared when heroin was used again. Some people are actually surprised to find that they actually needed heroin to function normally. They were no longer in control of their drug-taking; rather, it was controlling them.

These withdrawal symptoms included stomach cramps, vomiting and retching, muscle pains, the shakes, hot and cold spells, and headaches. Some people experience considerable discomfort and pain, and seek out the drug to escape or avoid this discomfort and pain.

The authors of Beating the Dragon: The Recovery from Dependent Drug Use describe Michael’s experience, who was taken to prison at a time of his drug-using career that he had never experienced withdrawal, and never considered the possibility that he might be addicted to the drug.

Once he started to experience withdrawal in the police cell, Michael started to ask for help believing that there was something wrong with him. The policeman knew what was wrong and asked, ‘Did your pals not tell you this?’

Michael continued:

‘But, as soon as I got out next day, I went straight for a hit and that was me, within seconds I was brand-new again. So that was me, I wasn’t usin’ it for fun anymore, I was usin’ it ‘cos I had to use it.’

Being deprived of the heroin they are using, for whatever reason, is absolutely fundamental to an individual’s realisation that they are addicted to heroin. In the absence of such enforced abstinence, and its physical consequences, it is possible for a person to maintain a belief that whilst they are using heroin they are doing so out of choice, rather than because they are dependent on the drug.

Heroin users will say that, apart from the experiences associated with withdrawal, there is little to indicate that they have become addicted to the drug.

“There’s no sign that says, ‘you’re now entering addiction’, there’s no big sign that says, ‘you’ll need to stop now, if you go once more that’s you’. You just cross that line and you don’t realise you’ve crossed it until you try to stop. I didn’t think about withdrawal symptoms or anything like that ‘cos I always had access to money.” (from Beating the Dragon: The Recovery from Dependent Drug Use)

When heroin users realise that they addicted to the drug, they respond in a number of ways. Some accept that they are addicted to the drug, but decide not to do anything about it at this time as they are enjoying using heroin and/or the drug-using lifestyle. They are also able to fund their habit.

Other users do not want to continue using the drug, but they soon discover that it is not just a simple case of stopping. This becomes a difficult and often emotional time as they realise that they have no choice. They have to continue using the drug to avoid the physical symptoms of withdrawal.

Some of our interviewees described becoming depressed, others either considered or tried to commit suicide.

Many heroin users point out that they reached a time where they no longer experienced pleasurable effects of the drug. They continue to take it just to feel ‘normal. Some say that they never really experience the same effect as those first few times that they injected or smoked heroin.

Sometimes, family members or friends inform the heroin user that they believe that they have a drug problem. This appears to happen less frequently than one might expect. This may be because heroin users hide their habit well from their families, or because the family members choose to deny that there is a problem or simply ignore it.

When the issue is first raised, the heroin user usually denies that there is a problem. As long as they can sustain their habit and avoid the distress of withdrawal, they can maintain the belief that they are in control.

Irrespective of whether heroin addicts regard their addiction as a problem or not, once they become dependent their lives become dominated by the need to feed their habit and to secure the means of doing so. In our next Briefing, we will focus on living with addiction.

Recommended Reading:

Beating the Dragon: The Recovery from Dependent Drug Use by James McIntosh and Neil McKeganey, Prentice Hall, 2002.

The Heroin Users by Tam Stewart, Oram Press, 1996.

Using Heroin, Trying to Stop and Accessing Treatment by Aimee Hopkins and David Clark, 2005.

> pdf document

> Part 4

Anna’s Moment of Clarity

In two recent blog posts starting here, I focused on a qualitative research project we conducted with family members who have been indirectly affected by substance use problems.

Years after this research was conducted, I received a story written by Anna, who lives here in Australia, which relates how her family coped with her brother’s heroin addiction. I published Anna’s Story on  Recovery Stories and recently updated it in my eBook Our Recovery Stories: Journeys from Drug and Alcohol Addiction. Anna’s story highlights the need for family members to accept that they cannot take ownership of their loved one’s addiction. They are not responsible for the addiction and they cannot do recovery for their loved one.

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‘Hope is the Word That Can Free Us From Addiction’ by o2b3

One of the things I will be doing over the coming months is to ‘bring back’ some of the classic blogs from our online community Wired In To Recovery, which ran from 2008 – 2012. People who know me will tell you that I always keep banging on about hope. Yes, hope is essential for recovery! Here’s a real powerful blog about hope which o2b3 submitted to Wired In To Recovery back in 2010.

‘I always thought that the word hope didnʼt apply to me! From where I come from I was never shown or given any hope. I was always put down and told, ‘Thereʼs no hope for you. You are no good. Youʼre bad, you are a liar. You are worthless and rotten to the core.’ When you keep hearing that said to you time and time again, you start to believe in what those people say. That this is you and thatʼs what you are. So I became the person that everyone said I was. I became all of the above, just to get back at those people that hurt me and put me down.

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Factors Facilitating Recovery: Hope

In an earlier blog, I described the nature of addiction recovery, using what was written in the second last chapter, ‘Factors That Facilitate Recovery’, of my recently published eBook, Our Recovery Stories: Journeys from Drug and Alcohol Addiction.

It  is important to emphasise that everyone’s recovery is different and deeply personal. However, whilst there are a multitude of pathways to recovery, there are a number of key factors that facilitate recovery from serious substance use problems. The importance of these factors has been illustrated in the narratives of recovering people about their journeys into and out of addiction. 

In this and future blog posts, I will describe a number these factors, illustrating their importance using primarily quotes from the Stories in my book. It should be noted that many of these factors are inter-related, so there will be some degree of repetition.

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Pathways from Heroin Addiction: Recovery Without Treatment, Part 4

The research conducted by Patrick Biernacki, with 101 former heroin addicts, showed some of the courses that people take in their lives when they give up using the drug without the aid of treatment. This is the last part of this series of blog posts.

When people resolve to stop using heroin, they face a variety of problems that go beyond the cravings for the drug and the temptation to use again. These additional problems are related to their attempts to fashion new identities and social involvements in worlds that are not associated with drug use.

As Biernacki pointed out, ‘The manner of termination and the course [or courses] that follow withdrawal from opiates are closely related to the degree that the addicts were involved in the world of addiction, to the exclusion of activities in other, more ordinary worlds, and to the extent that they had ruined conventional social relationships and spoiled the identities situated in them.’

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Pathways from Heroin Addiction: Recovery Without Treatment, Part 3

I continue my series of blog posts on Patrick Biernacki’s research from the mid-1980s focused on natural recovery from heroin addiction.

People who have been addicted to heroin report experiencing cravings for the drug long after they have given up using. Many people who have relapsed and gone back to using the drug after a period of abstinence attribute their relapse to their cravings for the drug.

A craving for heroin is used to describe a strong desire or need to take the drug.  Craving is often brought about by the appearance of a cue that is associated with the past drug use. These may be cues associated with the withdrawal from heroin, or with the pleasurable effects of the drug.

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Pathways from Heroin Addiction: Recovery Without Treatment, Part 2

In my last blog post, I started to look at the research of Patrick Biernacki, conducted in the US in the mid-1980s, which involved interviews with 101 people who had recovered from heroin addiction without treatment.

This research indicated that once people who have become dependent on heroin decide to stop using the drug, they are often unsure about what they should do with their lives instead. They may know what they do not want to do, but they are less certain about what they do want and how they can go about getting there.

This problem is greater for those who have immersed themselves in the world of addiction. They may have no money, no place to live, and no friends (other than other heroin users) and family to help them get out of their situation.

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Pathways from Heroin Addiction: Recovery Without Treatment, Part 1

Many people believe that if you try heroin, then you are on the path to ruin. They consider that addiction to heroin is inevitable, and the route to being drug-free again is extremely difficult, if not impossible. In fact, the vast majority of people who try heroin do not become addicted to the drug [1].

Many people, including treatment professionals, believe that it is essential that a person who becomes addicted to heroin has treatment to recover. However, research by Patrick Biernacki, conducted in the US in the mid-1980s, and others has revealed that many people recover from heroin addiction without treatment. In this and the following three blog posts, I describe Biernacki’s research and consider the characteristics of this recovery process. We need to learn from this research to help other people overcome heroin addiction.

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Drug, Set and Setting

The effects that a drug has on a person are not just dependent on the drug itself, but also on factors related to the person (the set) and the physical and social setting. (838 words)

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It’s Not Just About the Drug, Part 2

In my last blog, I introduced the idea that drug effects at a personal and community level are not just dependent on their biochemical actions—they depend on drug, set (the person) and setting (social context).

The Vietnam experience
The most dramatic illustration of the role of ‘social context’ centres around heroin addiction and the widespread use by American soldiers of heroin and opium during the Vietnam War. It involved one of the most ambitious and interesting research studies ever undertaken on the use of psychoactive drugs.

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Russell Brand: my life without drugs

26th Annual ARIA Awards 2012 - Award Winner PortraitsA great article in the Guardian by Russell Brand. He’s doing some great work.

Russell Brand has not used drugs for 10 years. He has a job, a house, a cat, good friends. But temptation is never far away. He wants to help other addicts, but first he wants us to feel compassion for those affected.

The last time I thought about taking heroin was yesterday. I had received “an inconvenient truth” from a beautiful woman. It wasn’t about climate change – I’m not that ecologically switched on – she told me she was pregnant and it wasn’t mine.

I had to take immediate action. I put Morrissey on in my car as an external conduit for the surging melancholy, and as I wound my way through the neurotic Hollywood hills, the narrow lanes and tight bends were a material echo of the synaptic tangle where my thoughts stalled and jammed.

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John Dolan: from homeless addict to street artist and author

John DolanHere’s a wonderful article about street artist John Dolan and his dog George which appeared recently in the UK Guardian.

Aged 10, John Dolan was told a family secret, which set him on the road to crime, addiction and homelessness. Now his life is transformed, thanks to his dog, George, and a gift for drawing

Anyone who has strolled down Shoreditch High Street in east London in the past few years will probably have seen John Dolan drawing, with a cup for coins on the pavement beside his dog.

A tourist from New Zealand browsing an art gallery nearby is typical of many of us: she stops in surprise when she sees a sketch by Dolan on display. “I saw this guy in the street the other day, just opposite,” she says. “I wish I’d stopped now and talked to him.”

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Excerpt from Anna’s Recovery Story: ‘Should I or shouldn’t I?’

stories-02Through his heroin addiction and recovery, Anna’s brother has taught her so much about life, including the most valuable lesson she could ever learn – you can get through anything.

“… there’s no way I can tell this story without saying that my brother is truly the most inspirational person I know. I am in awe of who he is and what he’s achieved. He has taught me so much about life, including the most valuable lesson I could ever possibly learn – that you can get through anything.”

‘6. Emotional release
My parents could see that I wasn’t really coping with what was happening and they convinced me to go and see a counsellor. I went to see a very expensive psychologist for three sessions. The first two sessions were spent crying and telling the same story I’d told everyone else a thousand times.

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Life as a Heroin Addict: Introduction

I was going through our old Wired In YouTube channel and saw that one of our videos – made by Jon Kerr-Smith and Lucie James – now had 0ver 290,000 views. Quite proud of that.

This video is part of a series that Jon and Lucie made with our friends in South Wales: ‘In this series we will be looking at different aspects of heroin addiction, treatment and recovery, as told by the addicts themselves.”

You can find the other videos on our channel. Enjoy!