Time to ‘relive’ another blog from one of Wired In To Recovery’s favourite bloggers, Matt Kay.
‘As soon as you notice that you’re feeling bad – which includes feeling angry, sad, frustrated, etc – ask yourself, “What am I focusing on right now?” Most likely you’ll discover that all you’re thinking about is what you don’t want.
When you get caught in a negative thinking groove of only seeing what you don’t want, you get trapped in the situation as a victim and you’ll keep attracting more of the same thing into your life. You won’t be able to move forward until you change your thoughts.
So, if you want to instantly stop feeling bad, so that you can move forwards and also just to feel good again, then try one of the following suggestions:
As soon as you realise you’re focusing on what you don’t want, turn it around by asking yourself, “What do I want?”
As soon as you do this, you won’t feel as bad. You’ve gotten yourself out of the negative rut and you’ve started focusing on what you do want. You’ve changed your whole point of view with just one subtle change.
Sometimes, you need to think through things a little more than simply the opposite. Here’s an example: You catch yourself thinking, “I hate my job,” so you change it around to be “I want a new job.” You will need to consider things like:
- what you would like to do in your new job?
- what skills would you like to be using?
- what kind of environment do you want to work in?
- what type of people do you want to work with?
- what is truly important for you to have in a job?
Otherwise, you may find that you do get a new job, but it’s really the same job in just a different place so you’re no further ahead. By determining what it is you want, then you can start to focus on how you’re going to get what you want. You’ve moved from a passive role to one of action.
Write Down the Benefits
Write down all the benefits of going through this situation. Whether it’s that you’re learning more about yourself and your needs or that it’s making you stand on your own two feet or that you gained a valuable skill.
Take the time to consider all the benefits of this thing that you don’t want. You may at first think there’s nothing, but keep thinking. There should be quite a few things you can write down. No matter how small it is, write it down. You’ll be amazed at how quickly this will change your feelings.
The key point of this exercise is that it is impossible to feel bad when you’re feeling appreciation and gratitude.
Feeling Good Again
These two steps are meant to allow you to become detached from the original ‘feeling bad’ emotion. You can now look at the situation in a much more calm and effective way and not have your decisions clouded by emotions.
Remember that your thoughts and your emotions are really the only thing that you always have complete control over.
Anyway, try these two steps the next time you’re feeling bad. You’ll be amazed at what an easy and effective way this is to instantly change your mood to one of feeling good.
“Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times.” Aeschylus’
